Soldier of The Cross, your job is to be a minister of Life.
This means you must be available to the leading of the Holy Spirit and not predetermine what you will be saying in situations - including in your home!
One of the enemy's favorite things is to project scenes onto the screen of your mind that play out various confrontations. When this happens, fantasy takes over, and the imagination comes up with all sorts of conversations. Then feelings swell, and the Christian victim decides what he or she will say.
Stop right now. Be aware of what happens in your mind. Wisdom rarely predetermines what to say.
Let the Indwelling Holy Spirit lead you.
Take it to Him. Aloud.
Then go into the situation, consciously waiting for Him to lead.
On the other side of the conversation, you will feel clean. It is not a matter of winning. It is a matter of ministering Life.