How easy it is to lose sight of the most important thing - knowing Him. This is especially true of those who consider themselves to be in ministry.
When you are with a Brother or Sister who is pursuing Him rather than pursuing Christianity or ministry, there are always the fireworks of fellowship. That is because He is present.
Taking up The Cross and following after Him is an affirmative, all-consuming sphere of living that is not possible without yielded and explicit prayer.
The Cross is the place of the death of the flesh, and I can't clobber my own flesh. It is a supernatural work that takes place as I agree with God. I don't have to understand it all first. I must obey, and then I will walk in The Light and understand a few things.
Soldier, the busier you are, the more you must pray. The less you have, the more you must give. And the deeper the hurt, the more you must seek out someone to love and to serve. Remember, we love the unlovely. I can certainly tell you I was actively and consciously rejecting Him when He touched me and drew me to Himself.
There is nothing else worth anything. Taking up The Cross gives wisdom for family matters, puts relationships in perspective and invites God to make the deepest changes in the heart.
Go to Him with this now and do it aloud.
Then, look up and move on!