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I promised last
night I would write about spanking tonight. What does the Bible say? It refers to the "rod" and says when the rod is administered, it saves the child from "death", (the living experience of spiritual death), and that "he shall not surely die". A landmark decade in the downhill slide of our nation occurred when Dr. Spock became a household name. The popularity of the no-spank movement has resulted in teeming masses in juvenile court, insolent youth, and a generation of depressed and dangerous Americans. God was not suggesting spanking as a possibility - he said very clearly that it must be done. I believe that with some children it can only happen once or twice, and with others it will happen much more than that. But the biggest problem is that parents have lost the backbone that it takes to administer an effective spanking. The Bible says a "rod" because it ought to be something other than the hand (unless under two or so). It symbolizes a tool or instrument of discipline, and it makes a far deeper impact on the child. This should be a time of teaching as well as punishment, It should not be with a belt, and as I have already said, it should not be with the hand. It should be applied to the bare bottom if it is a wooden spoon or or similar utensil or it can be a switch taken off a tree and applied to the back of the legs (very good for children 6 or older.) Of course all children are different. But the "spanking today usually consists of a blow to the bottom, through at least two layers of cloths, and that is definitely not effective. It may work for a limited time for little ones under 2, but that is all. It only produces surprise, anger, and never actually hurts. An infant should never be hit, and when they begin to deliberately disobey at 9 or 10 months, slapping the hand is enough - and it should only happen when there is clear and deliberate evidence that the child knows he is disobeying. When real spankings happen, there has to be physical pain or it is not effective. Elisabeth Elliot told me that her mother had a switch over every doorway in the house, and each child knew full well it was there, and each one feared its implications. If the spanking is done right, it is really painful for the parent. Applying actual pain to the child is rough on the parent, and the humiliation the child experiences is hard on both. But there can be no driving out the "foolishness" that is bound up in the heart of a child, as the scripture says, without it. This kind of punishment should be saved for only certain things - disobedience, lying, particular kinds of sassing, but for the most part, corporal punishment will be infrequent if it really, hurts. The switch taken off the tree is good because it stings, but leaves no mark, and it is dreaded. If you have not done it before, it will take only one time to be effective. It will free you from the anger a parent often experiences when it feels like the child is out of control. All children are different, and no formula will fit everyone. But oh parents, heed the word! I live in the same house with my grandchildren - there are four of them. They are a delight - the are obedient, and they are considerate. They didn't grow that way like little plants - they were raised by the principles of God's Word. Children today are "grounded" for everything, when there are other creative ways of doing things. When we were children, we found it quite effective and appropriately humiliating to stand in the corner for offenses of the mouth and laziness. As parents turn to the Lord and are daily able to be trained by God, the anger level subsides, and discipline turns into a kaleidoscopic way to teach. Don't kid yourself - every parent who has ever lived has been angry . But that doesn't have to press away wisdom, and the real key is - seeing what is really going on! Please, please consider this prayerfully. |
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