Soldier of The Cross - be assured that the Lord will shed enough Light for the next step.
Most of us want to know what is coming far beyond the next step. In fact, the flesh craves control to the extent that there is a craving for infinite predictability.
As much as is good for us to know, we have been told what eternity holds for us. We can sing about it, pray about it and it is wonderful to look forward to it.
In the meantime, most around us are miserable and wandering.
Soldier, your own feelings are not your imagination. They are real. But, God's Word is more real than the way that you feel. You must buck up. You must attend to the one before you. You must attend to the lost.
The less money you have, the more you must give.
The less time you have, the more you must volunteer.
The harder the hit you are taking, the more you must minister encouragement to another.
You have determined what your life is about.
Get out there and live it in supernatural Power!