In teaching
teenagers for thirty-four years, I have found that adults err
on both ends of the spectrum. Even young parents often forget the freedom a young person needs to develop taste and be an individual, and at the same time teens should be held to the highest possible standards. Spiritually, parents must remember consciously that the child is either saved or unsaved. Usually a believing parent knows the spiritual condition of the child, though that is not always the case. If the child has received Christ, the parent must remember that while there is always training to be done, the relationship with the Lord is orchestrated and lubricated by the Holy Spirit. When a parent tries to push hard to get resulting Christian behavior, it is usually because the parent is insecure and wants assurance that the child will turn out well. The result? It usually makes the teen numb to the things of God. From the time they are born, we live before them. We answer their questions as well as we can, and when we don't know, we say we do not know, but we will pray about the answer. There must be firm limits that parents would die to enforce. Of course there must be instruction and correction. By the time a child leaves home, he should be trained in the word, be accustomed to attending all meetings, sing boisterously, and know the stories of the saints of the faith who have gone before. You are a parent until you are dead, or until the rapture. But as you love and pray for your teenager, remember that his own relationship with the Lord does not take up where yours leaves off. He has his own beautiful privilege of experiencing grace and of receiving revelation. Where is the balance? It is in your own private time with the One who made both parent and child. |
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