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Your goal in Christian service absolutely can not be a sense of personal
satisfaction.
Why?
Because the enemy specializes in feelings - producing them and robbing them.
We serve in obedience because He has told us what to do and how to follow, and
there is no other criteria. Yes, of course there are time when we actually see the fruit
and relish the fact that in his Grace He has allowed us to be used.
But there are other times when His purposes are achieved and we feel terrible.
Soldier, most of the time you have no idea how effective you are. It may be that
in your wake, thousands are saved, and if that is the case, you will know about it, but
the enemy will be allowed extra room with you, just to keep you humble and
dependent.
We will know when we get to heaven.
Now? We make sure we are not lazy, passive, stubborn, or independent.
We obey and leave the rest to Him. He is faithful to encourage when we need it,
and to withhold what we ought not see or know.
The issue is, it is up to Him, and we must not evaluate His work based on our
feelings or worm's eye view.
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