Remember, you are transparent.
Those who serve the Lord have no right to privacy, and often the Lord allows things that are unfair or untrue so that others will see how His most choice Servants respond to such things.
Soldier, let's get this settled once and for all: you have no rights any more. Yes, you have a Lord who cares and settles the affairs of His Own, but it is His business.
You said He could have your life.
Did you mean it?