There is nothing so terrible that you can't go to the Lord.
One of the gifts and privileges of being His is, the Throne of Grace is always available to you.
There is no Christian who feels perfect. There is no Christian who arrives. Everyone who loves Him, loves His Body loves His Word and serves Him is aware of being imperfect. The more real He is, the more striking is His perfection and the need for Grace becomes clearer.
Much of the time, coming to Him is a physical discipline. Added to that are other hindrances such as depression, low self-esteem and emotional snarls.
Knowing the Lord means meeting with Him and meeting with Him no matter what. There is a sweet discipline to going to Him in the discomfort, in the failure, in the swamp of all the things that come in the way.
Prayer must be a habit.
Soldier of The Cross, as we know that many things do not come about but by prayer, we must learn to go to Him. As soon as we do that, the thing in the way loses its power to interfere.
Once again, look up and move on!