Soldier of The Cross, you have no idea what God is doing.
If it were good for you to know, He would have told you. Obviously, you do not need to know where, why, how or when. The far more important questions is, do you or do you not trust Him?
This is evident in the personality of the Soldier of The Cross. Those who agree with God are able to say so to Him. They delighted in what He wants , even if it appears that agreement comes at a significant cost.
What is the greatest cost you can pay?
Is it your ego?
Is it control?
Is it money? Family? Reputation? The job? A secret?
Is it a position in the Church? Possibly an issue with authority?
Say it aloud in prayer. What is it that you value? Is there anything greater that than His will? Is there anything temporal that is of more value than the eternal?
Of course not. But, you must come before Him and tell Him that you agree with Him.
Do you Love Him? Are you willing to lay down your life for the Body? What do you think that means? Compromise? Comfort? Agreeing with loved ones instead of agreeing with God?
This is not just about getting through the next few hours. This is about the reason for your life.
Soldier, get a backbone. Learn to recognize who is deceived and who is filled with the Holy Spirit.
There is no middle ground.