Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with his mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me [ceased from fretting]
Psalm 131:2 (Amplified Bible)
Soldier of The Cross, there is much work to be done, and you have no idea what God is doing in the background. We serve a Lord who is not a God of formulas and human understanding. We also serve a Lord who adores us and pays careful attention to every matter, great or small.
Just before the verse above, the Psalmist says “. . .neither do I exercise myself in matters too great or in things too wonderful for me." Meaning that even the deepest and most mature Christian has no capacity to figure out why, how or when.
We have an enemy who is always out to steal and destroy. He is an expert at distraction. Even seasons of abundant blessing can be ruptured by a broadside blow if you attempt to understand or analyze things. The enemy is just waiting to pounce on the moment that strains to be in control, rather than reflecting on God's Word.
The mind is the battleground. The place of choice. The thoughts will not be taken captive and led away for you. It is something that you must do, first in prayer and then with affirmative choice and action. Those who are in the Word of God daily, have the advantage of slicing through the thought life with the Sword.
Are you or are you not a Soldier of The Cross? Have you told Him you will take up the Cross daily and follow Him? Do you see the death of the flesh as valuable and necessary?
We have the Indwelling Holy Spirit. There is power to make the choice that feels like it cannot be made. If you are to be a living sacrifice, you may not lie down on the altar and wave a list of demands in the air.
It is His way or your way. If it is His way, you don't need to understand.
You need to follow.