This is you.
You have been called and chosen. Yes, you have free will and have the freedom to refuse Grace. The problem is, those who turn a deaf ear to the call of God have what I call the "Jonah Syndrome."
They are miserable and find themselves discontent in storm after storm. They want to examine circumstances themselves, refusing glad obedience. When they finally move, it is with grumbling and resentment because they did not get their way.
Seeking respite and shade, they find the rays of Time beating down on them and they have no recourse because they have already rejected and disapproved of the Plan of God.
Soldier of The Cross, listen to the call. Agree with God. He chose you for Himself and that is no small thing.
Abundant Life? Not in the search or the program or the mission. He calls us to Himself and then teaches us to follow Him into places that forbid entry.
His hand is on your heart and you know it well.
There is nothing else.
When you have learned to follow, you have learned to lead.