Oh Soldier, is this your question?
He is secure and can take it. The issue is, are you entitled to know why?
No.
Are you or are you not Soldier of The Cross? It means you will take up The Cross and follow Him no matter what. It means that He does not need to explain His reasons to you. Or does He?
Soldier, listen well.
He is the Commander. He is the Lover of Your Soul. He gave His life for you.
Is His Love real to you? You must pour out your heart to Him, and it must be aloud.
Tell Him and do it aloud.
Today - there is nothing to loose.