If you had it to do over, you would never react that way.
But you don't have it to do over, and you reacted badly. You want so much to make this change, but how?
We are told that The Soldier of The Cross is not to be easily offended. Galatians 5: 22, 23 says:
"But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law."
It is absolutely possible to be a committed Christian and still struggle with this. The first step of course is prayer that agrees with God and that welcomes whatever He wants to do to heal the infected area. Then, find some verses about being reactionary and write one down each week. Memorize it. If you have trouble memorizing it, write it in longhand 10 times. You will remember at least part of it.
Then, when the next potential situation arises, the Indwelling Holy Spirit will bring one of those verses to mind and you will have a choice. Choosing obedience is hard at first but gets easier and easier.
All the counseling in the world can't compare with the Indwelling Counselor who knows you better than you know yourself.
Take it to Him. Aloud
Don't put it off.