The old man is always resisting the Frontier of Faith.
With age, comfort and predictability are more and more lovely, while the learning of new things and the venture into unknown territory seems to take more than has.
Yet, there is no verse in God's Word that implies one can ever retire from faith. As long as there a beating heart in the Soldier of The Cross, He leads that Soldier into more and more unknown territory- that is, territory known to Him, but unknown to the follower.
Until we are in Glory, there is no "arrival." We are asked to come to know and follow the One who is now preparing a Place for us. We are asked to be transformed into His likeness. This is a supernatural process and happens over time and is the result of the deepest, deepest work of the Holy Spirit.
It is too bad Christianity has become a business. It is possible to get a college degree in being a "worship leader", and it is also possible to earn a large salary in that job. I have spoken with young musicians who have set their sights on such a career, yet they have no desire to be like the Risen Lord.
Soldier of The Cross, He knows best. He knows when. He knows how and He knows why. You were not designed to know all of those things. You were designed to have a trusting, loving and intimate relationship with the One who holds the stars in place..
His goal is not to break you. His goal is to change you and to prepare you for the everlasting thrill of His Presence and delights that are beyond comprehension.
Look up and move on!