The brain rams at the situation over and over in an effort to gain just a little control in the form of understanding the situation.
It just can not be understood right now. This is a time to take it to Him and let Him have all of the matter - by faith. This happens in prayer and will probably need to happen over and over and over.
He who listens is able. Completely able. If you had the capacity to understand it, you would not be struggling so hard to get a handle on it. It is what it is, and only He knows why and how it will play out. Of course we pray these things through, but not because we understand.
No faith, no release.
Soldier of The Cross, He does things that seem strange to us. Our responsibility is to trust and obey.
No matter what.