Your life is more of an open book than you think.
Anyone who is around you can name the themes of your life and they can probably order them according to your priorities.
So then Soldier of The Cross, raise high your flag. Only One is perfect and that is not expected of you. Your vocation is to be loving and serving Him. Gazing upon Him. Talking to Him. Listening and watching for Him.
You don't need to bear an ear-to-ear grin all of the time. Nevertheless, if your body and your faculties are not your own and are yielded to Him, your countenance should not reflect frustration, disappointment, lust, resentment or withdrawal.
Many of us have had to learn the hard way. For some, wisdom comes only when the sting of foolishness is unbearable.
What are the themes of your life?
At whom are you looking?
What do you think about in the most private moments?
Your prayer life?
His Glory radiates from the lives and mouths of those who spend time with Him on the Mountain.
It is not about what others think. It is about preparing for eternity.
After all, His Banner over you is Love.