Soldier of The Cross, you must be aware of your thoughts.
They all start somewhere. We know we are influenced, and we can choose that influence. It is not possible to choose to avoid temptation, nevertheless it is commanded that we take every thought captive and lead it away.
[Inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One),
II Corinthians 10:5 (Amplified Bible)
So then Soldier, your job is to take this matter to prayer. If you do not, the enemy is able to shoot in a fiery dart and begin a thought against another, or even your own thought against yourself.
God's Word has a great deal to say about the mind. The mind is the initial expression of the soul, and if the ungodly thought is not recognized, the result is frustration and then anger, division and spiritual cancer.
Soldier, only He is Light. And, the One who named you and has your name written on the palms of His hands is also keenly aware of your thought life.
Take it to Him. Aloud.
Today.