Why?
We do not need to know why.
We only need to know that He can be trusted.
Death, suffering, separation, poverty, evil - there is so much that can not be understood. We can philosophize about everything, but we do not have the capacity to take in the whole of God's Plan. If we could understand everything, there would be no need for faith.
We know we can rely on Him to hear us, to respond, and to know what is best.
If I really believe He knows better than I, I won't ask Him "why", inasmuch as my question would imply my ability to approve the right answer.
What does it mean to be a Soldier of The Cross?
It means that you have decided to take up The Cross daily and follow Him.
It means that you have determined to take Him at His Word and you have told Him so in prayer.
It means that you have told him you will be a living sacrifice, whatever that means.
It means that even though your flesh bucks and paws the ground, you want more than anything to let Him deal with the things in you that limit the flow of His Life.
It means that you want to be being filled with and led of the Spirit and you have told Him so.
It means He is more precious to you than anything or anyone else.
It means that you are available to love the unlovely.
It means you are willing and eager to live by faith and that God can trust you in situations in which He might not put others.
It means you will live by the whole Word of God.
We do not have the right to an explanation from the Lord.
So Soldier, attend to the thing right before you. Live for Him one day at a time and let Him deal with the things that can not be understood.
When we are with Him, we will understand it all.