Soldier of The Cross, you can't figure it out.
In the bye and bye, we will learn all about it, but not now. Now, your job is to take up The Cross and follow hard after Him. That means embracing the death of the flesh, (death of the old man) and leaving behind all that is not healthy.
Are you aware of your thoughts? Most of the time, when there is an unexpected or unpleasant circumstance, the mind goes into action and is like a runaway horse- no stopping it. Thoughts tend to rotate round and round, reviewing and fantasizing.
But you have decided to live according to God's Word. So that means the governing of your thoughts:
"We are destroying sophisticated arguments and every exalted and proud thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought and purpose captive to the obedience of Christ. . ."
(II Corinthians 10:5, Amplified Bible)
Your thoughts determine your life.
Be aware. Get into The Word. Memorize and say it over and over aloud. If it is not a full verse, get a phrase. The Indwelling Holy Spirit will bring it up many times during the day.
This is why I am so big on memorization. Haven't done it in years? Start now.
Years ago I taught a bible study in the apartment of a lady who was 93 years old. She loved God but had never been taught to get into the Bible.
I made my pitch, and she decided to go with it. The next week, she quoted (with some hesitation) Romans 8:6- not an easy verse:
"Now the mind of the flesh is death [both now and forever—because it pursues sin]; but the mind of the Spirit is life and peace [the spiritual well-being that comes from walking with God—both now and forever];"
It is not so hard. To start, write it in long hand 10 times. Takes only about 10 minutes. And it will come back to you over and over all day when things arise. That is God initiating to you. What a stunning privilege we have.
Do you understand that the Word of God is Light and apart from the fresh taking in of it, there no sight or hearing?
Take this to Him.